Free to Roam

“Boundaries are the space in which one can be free.”

Loren Thornburg

I enjoy getting away to new places when I can.  The thing about places that are new is that you don’t always know what is safe.  As I ventured off in a new space I was thankful for the fences that marked that which I was free to roam.  Now for some of us this is very limiting and at times I would have to agree.  Yet in this moment I came to appreciate the fences seeing them not as that which was keeping me from seeing more, but that which was freeing me to enjoy the space I was given.  I can’t say that I always feel this way and never question the amount of space that I am given to be free.  I wrestle with the limits of my health, the boundaries that healthy relationships call for, the ways I feel fenced in by my weaknesses and failures , and on and on.   What if instead of limits we saw freedom?  What if instead of boundaries we saw safety?  What if we saw our fences for what they give us instead of what they are keeping us from?  Enjoy the space you’ve been given even if the fences aren’t where you wish they would be.  

“The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup;  You support my lot.  The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me.”

Psalm 16:5-6 NASB

When the Lord is in it, the lines are always pleasant.  He is a god of giving, not of taking away.  Yet, sometimes we can miss that if we don’t see the bigger picture of what He is doing.  Recently I have felt the weight of what seems like things being taken away, not realizing that what God is doing is making room for more.  It isn’t that He wants to take away your fun, your desires, or the things you enjoy, but He wants to make more room in your heart for you to really experience true joy.  He is a god of purpose and of great plans for you.  Wherever your lines and boundaries have fallen they are pleasant when He is in them.  Paul found freedom in chains.  He still saw his lines had fallen in pleasant places.  He is more than enough freedom for any space, no matter how small it seems.  Find freedom in the space He has given you.  

Heart of the Matter

“The heart of the matter is a matter of the heart.”
Loren Thornburg

The ‘heart of the matter’ is a saying we use to refer to the core of something.  Often times we use it to refer to that which is at the root of an issue or causing the problem.  As the heart of a human is the most vital organ, so the heart of the matter is the most important part.   What I am finding is the ‘heart of the matter’ for most of my problems is in fact my heart.  Only, I don’t mean in the physical functioning of propelling blood through the body.  Instead I am talking about the other definition of heart, the inmost or most central part.  It is my innermost being, the emotional component.  This is the real ‘heart of the matter.‘  So often we spend so much time taking care of the outside that we forget that the real ‘heart of the matter’ is what is going on in the inside.   The truth is real change happens from the inside out.  The ‘heart of the matter’ of the kid acting out is not that he can’t get his act together, but that he’s hurting; the mom yelling at her kids is hurting, the driver with road rage is hurting.  We all have places that are begging us to see...our hearts are the ‘heart of the matter.’

“Speak to the heart of Jerusalem, and cry unto her, that her time of suffering is accomplished, that her iniquity is pardoned; for she hath received of Jehovah's hand double for all her sins.”

Isaiah 40:2 Darby Bible Translation

Heart is referred to over 500 times in the bible and not in reference to the organ, but to describe the seat of emotions, desires, appetites, emotions, courage, mind, determination, reflection, and soul.  God is about our hearts and loves to speak to them.  After many chapters of judgment and conviction God brings a word of comfort meant to minister to the hearts. This is a reflection of Himself.  He is about your heart.  Whatever the situation it seems the ‘heart of the matter’ for God is your heart.  So if you’re wondering what God is doing in the midst of your situation it probably has to do with the hearts of those involved.  You can trust that He has your heart in mind.  

What You Can’t See

“What you can’t see is there is hope.  What you can’t see is there is more.  What you can’t see is there is victory to come.  When what you see seems hopeless, remember that there is more that you can’t see.”

Loren Thornburg

Easter is the celebration of the resurrection.  To resurrect is to raise from the dead, restore to life, revive, regenerate, revitalize, breathe new life into, bring back to life, reinvigorate, rejuvenate.  We all have places in our hearts and lives that we need and desire this resurrection.  What I am reminded of this year in the story of the resurrection is what no one could see.  While everyone was mourning Christ was given new life.  I’m not saying there shouldn’t be mourning in the face of tragedy.  What I am saying is there was more going on than what they could see.  They couldn’t see behind the tombstone.  Sometimes healing and restoration are happening in ways we can’t see and in places we don’t know.  So while you walk through places where all you can see is defeat and hopelessness remember that there is more going on that you can’t see.  There is so much more going on beyond the things we see.  It takes faith, it takes hope, it takes trust to believe in what you can’t see.

“Now the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will personally restore, establish, strengthen, and support you after you have suffered a little.”

1 Peter 5:10 HCSB

God is a god of resurrecting.  He loves bringing life into things that were once dead.  We see it all throughout the Bible, story after story of what was once dead, now made alive.  He has a habit of personally restoring places of loss and suffering.  He has a way of changing the unchangeable, restoring the broken beyond repair and bringing hope to the utterly hopeless.  He knows you and He knows how to personally and intimately bring you to the full life He created you to live.  You only have to let Him and invite Him into those places.  It may seem impossible that things could ever change for us.  Yet, this is the God of all grace who raised Jesus from the dead.  Just as He was at work behind Jesus’ tombstone, so He is at work behind the tombstones of our own lives raising death to life in ways you can’t see.  He loves to resurrect.  So though all you see now is suffering, trust Him for what You can’t see happening behind the tombstones of your life.  He is at work to personally restore, establish, strengthen, and support you. 

Space Between

“The energy you are looking for is found in the margins, in the space between.”
Loren Thornburg  

Having grown up in Southern California I am slowly learning how to drive in the snow.  One of the things I am learning is that you need a greater space between.  There is more space required between you and the car in front of you and before your stopping point.  More space is also needed before you make a turn, knowing that you now need more space to turn in front of the oncoming cars.  I am finding life is like that.  When things get a bit stormy and harder than before I need more space between.  This margin is referred to as the space between ourselves and our limits.  Like driving in the snow, my limits change during different seasons of life and different circumstances.  I have to give myself more space between the workings of my week otherwise I won’t be able to last through the season.    Space gives us energy to keep going.   We wouldn’t expect a car to keep running without stopping to put gas in it, yet we are surprised when our lives don’t function well without margin.  It’s in the space between that we can rest, regroup, and refresh for the next thing.  Do you have enough margin and space between?  

If God doesn’t build the house, the builders only build shacks. If God doesn’t guard the city, the night watchman might as well nap. It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone. Don’t you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves?
Psalm 127:1-2 Message

We see it over and over in scripture.  God designed life to have space, margin and rest.  He worked created the world and rested, He commands us to rest, He invites us to rest, and He shows us rest in the life of Jesus.  God is a god that “enjoys giving rest to those he loves.”  He loves to give you rest.  It’s not that most of us would disagree, yet somehow it still doesn’t happen in our lives.  We love the idea of it but often miss the reality of margin and rest.  There are so many good things calling for attention, there are so many lies telling us our significance is in our being busy, and there are so many fears on what might come up in the silence of the rest.  Thus, we have to be intentional about margin and fight for it.  For as the Psalms says if our schedule is not being led by the Lord then we are working in vain.  Let Him determine your day.  Hear His invitation to rest...and enjoy as He does.  

Affected

“We are all connected,  all affected.  No act is solo and no story goes alone.”

Loren Thornburg

I saw it with the glass that broke on the floor.  It wasn’t just the glass that was affected, but the broken pieces went all over the floor, much farther than you might have expected.  I was reminded again when the piece of trash blew onto my balcony:  What we do affects others.  Someone else’s trash blew into my life.  Somehow we think we are a stand alone, capable of operating independently of others.  What we miss is that even in our best attempts to function this way our actions are affecting far more people than we realize.  When we don’t deal with the hurts and pains of our lives they become junk blowing into other people.  We think that no one sees it.  It seems like it doesn’t matter, it’s our own life and we can do whatever we want.  The problem with that thinking is your life interacts with other lives and every one that interacts with you is affected by your choices one way or another.  You are affecting people.  What kind of affect are you having?

“The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church; every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don’t, the parts we see and the parts we don’t.  If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing.  If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.”

1 Corinthians 12:25-26

I love and struggle with this design where every part is involved and dependent on the other parts.  I like the good part that we all flourish when one part flourishes, I just don’t like the hard part that when one part is hurt, every part is involved with it.  Our own bodies show this clearly.  If you have a bad stomach ache, it impacts more than just your stomach, but it becomes hard to think, function and enjoy life.  Our bodies, our community, the church was designed to function in dependency on one another.  It is a beautiful thing when lived out well.  This starts with knowing and accepting that we are need each other (whether we like it or not).  It continues in walking with others in their hurts and victories and letting others do the same.  Often times I think I am sparing people by not “burdening” them with my pain, but really I am “burdening” them by not letting them into that place.  Every part is affected.  Let’s live like it.    

Matters Most

“Don’t get lost in what matters little, spend your life in what matters most.”

Loren Thornburg

We are easily swayed and led off track.  I see it all the time.   It’s in our families, work, teams, politics, communities, churches, and hearts.  The little things keep us from seeing the big picture and what matters most.  We all have them.  We want to have things happen our way more than to reach the original goal, to be heard more than to do what’s best for the group, to be successful more than to grow, to have the quick fix more than to have it really fixed.  The list goes on and on.   There are thousands of “littles” begging for our attention, but what really matters most?  Step back from the chaos and look again.  See what is most important.  In the midst of all around you don’t miss what matters most.  

“But that matters little.  What matters most to me is to finish what God started: the job the Master Jesus gave me of letting everyone I meet know all about this incredibly extravagant generosity of God.”

Acts 20:24 Message

Paul is in the midst of his journey to Jerusalem knowing that there will be hardships.  His response to that reality is to say “that matters little” in comparison with “what matters most to me,” which is to share Jesus.  It would have been easy for Paul to get lost in the fear of the unknown.  However, instead of seeing the weight of potential hardship he saw the weight of what he has been called to do.  When that is kept at the front of his focus whatever is to come no longer matters.  What matters most should matter most.  I wish I could say that were always true for me, but it’s not.  Often how I look, what people will think, my comfort, my fears, or my security becomes what matters most to me.  That’s why I need the Holy Spirit, I need time with the Father, I need time in the word, I need time with other believers.  Without these things I will get lost in all the littles and miss what matters most.  It’s Him.  It’s always Jesus and all that He is asking of me.  That always matters most.  Let’s help each other to walk that out.  Oh what it might look like if our hearts and lives said it as Paul did, “But that matters little.  What matters most to me is to finish what God started…” 

Blessing in the Wound

“Don’t give up or let hurting turn you away.  There is blessing in the wound.  If you are willing to push through the pain.”

Loren Thornburg

We get used to it...woundedness.  We don’t even know it’s there.  It becomes our way of life until something hits against it.  We cringe and and wonder what was so painful.  It seems the event didn’t warrant that amount of pain.  Although this may be true, there is something even more true.  It’s not the first time.  We’ve been wounded there before, only it never healed.  I find much hope in the African Proverb that says, “the blessing lies close to the wound,” because I’ve seen this to be true.   Looking back on my healing journey I can’t help but almost be thankful for some of my wounds because of what the healing journey has brought in and through me.  Wounds can be painful, especially when things in our life are pressing up against them.  Yet that’s the pain that tells me something isn’t right, it’s not healed. It's also this pain that points me to healing if I let it.  Healing seems impossible there in the face of the wound, but it is actually closer than ever before.  The freedom of healing is the blessing that lies so close to the wound you can’t even see it’s there.  It’s the blessing of healing, hope, endurance and faith found only when wounded.  Don’t stop with the pain, the blessing lies close.  

“He personally carried away our sins in his own body on the cross so we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. You have been healed by his wounds!”

1 Peter 2:24 NLT

His wounds became your healing.  We are healed because of the wounds that Jesus bore on the cross.  He did that for you.  So that you can live.  Not just live, but live abundantly in a personal relationship with Him.  This wound was very personal, with a greater weight than we will ever know. The blessing lied close to the wound.  Those wounds brought healing from our sins that we could be free to live for what is right and have new life.  If that weren’t enough through them we now have access to relationship with the Father.  In this relationship there is much healing.  We are blessed, healed, new, whole, free, and confident because of His wounds.  He loves to do the same with yours.  Let Him show you the blessing He has that lies close to your wound.  

Two Other Thoughts: A Quote and A Song

“Like Jacob, you must hold on to Him. And like Jacob, you will be wounded. Like Jacob, you must say, ‘I will not let You go unless you bless me,’ and then the wound, the tender hip thereafter, the blessing…when you plead to know He is here, and when He answers you, and helps you to meet Him here, you will be wounded by that meeting. The wound will help you know, and that is the blessing.”

Quote from a Father at a Monastery

Audrey Assad...Wherever You Go

There's a train leaving your heart tonight. 

There's a silence inside your head and you're running from it. 

Down the tracks on a midnight line. 

There's a red moon in the sky and you're running from it. 

But I'm coming for you wherever you go. 

Wrestling angels till dawn breaks through 

There's a blessing and a wound and you're running from it. 

When all your demons are at your door 

It's a soldier they're looking and you're running from it. 

But I'm coming for you wherever you go. 

Across the sea, the space between everything you think 

You know - the things you keep and bury deep underneath 

The melting snow - I'll follow. I'll follow. 

Fathers & mothers don't always come through 

But I'm never gonna stop following you 

Prophets and lovers don't always hold true 

But I'm never gonna stop falling for you 

So when your wine's all gone and your well runs dry, 

Open your hands and look into my eyes; all that you see here, 

You'll soon leave behind, so open your hands and look into my eyes